//of ashes and of dusts.//


i had quite the most atypical new year today.

Driving along the winding roads of Lim Chu Kang, dotted with earthened graves and forgotten tombs,my heart felt especially heavy. it isnt as if i havent been on this road years before,but today, it seems particularly quaint. i cant put to words reasons why, though try as i might , i somewhat sensed it stemming from my dad.

besides greying faster than before, my dad , always being particular about patriarchal traditions of chinese new year, did not seem the least excited.
he didnt sing along to the loud clanging songs of festivities ; atkin to a child's first new year.
he didnt bicker and fight with mum about hanging of the decoratives; atkin to that of his first home .

we followed silently behind his heavy footsteps till we reached my grandparents's urns.he looked at the those familiar faces,that are only but the dusts of time now , with such longing , that for the first time ,i realised what a lonely man , my dad really was.

it was then when i saw his tears uncontrollably,laced the face behind a man i always took for granted that my heart broke.


as i put my hands around him, and hold him for the first time in a long while that i realise ;
it didnt matter who my father was or what he ever and never did -
there's only just one in the world.

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