Tuesday, January 27, 2009'♥
//of ashes and of dusts.//
i had quite the most atypical new year today.
Driving along the winding roads of Lim Chu Kang, dotted with earthened graves and forgotten tombs,my heart felt especially heavy. it isnt as if i havent been on this road years before,but today, it seems particularly quaint. i cant put to words reasons why, though try as i might , i somewhat sensed it stemming from my dad.
besides greying faster than before, my dad , always being particular about patriarchal traditions of chinese new year, did not seem the least excited.
he didnt sing along to the loud clanging songs of festivities ; atkin to a child's first new year.
he didnt bicker and fight with mum about hanging of the decoratives; atkin to that of his first home .
we followed silently behind his heavy footsteps till we reached my grandparents's urns.he looked at the those familiar faces,that are only but the dusts of time now , with such longing , that for the first time ,i realised what a lonely man , my dad really was.
it was then when i saw his tears uncontrollably,laced the face behind a man i always took for granted that my heart broke.
as i put my hands around him, and hold him for the first time in a long while that i realise ;
it didnt matter who my father was or what he ever and never did -
there's only just one in the world.
3:08 AM
Saturday, January 24, 2009'♥
//charmer or a clod.//
the aftertaste, the lingering wisps of yesteryears that swirls in the clouded head.
it's knowing what we will never be, that kills.
10:47 PM
Wednesday, January 21, 2009'♥
// cock hair.//
i am so much more. says:
my dress's left breast's print is bigger than my right breast's print
which makes me look like a one breast monster
liyin queky says, a pocket full of ginny joes. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
liyin queky says, a pocket full of ginny joes. says:
it makes me look fat
damn it
and with my cock hair?
i look like i need lipo
..
i am so much more. says:
WAH
SINCE WHEN YOU HAVE COCK HAIR
I ALSO WANNNNTTTT
p.s. for christ's sake, can people get any more stupid worshipping obama , like some mankind's saviour?
12:01 AM
Tuesday, January 20, 2009'♥
//waiting.//
The scary part, the aftershock, the moment it takes to fall apart
The time we have, the task at hand, the love it takes to destroy a man
The ecstasy, the being free, the big black cloud over you and me
And after that, the upwards fall, and were we angels after all?
10:02 PM
Wednesday, January 14, 2009'♥
//mopey.//
musik juices: night windows -the weakerthans.
:)
i was still feeling a little lousy when i woke up at o845hr. i didnt feel the rush of
purposefulness of the mornings before. it didnt help that i went to sleep
angry and bitter the night before.
so i switched on alfie , still clinging on to the very last strands of hope in my mail,when my messenger window pops up a window.
:)
12:19 PM
'♥
i am so much more.
i need so much more.
and a pity, you will never know.
12:04 AM
Saturday, January 10, 2009'♥
//new love.//
musik juices : emiliana torrini
1:14 AM
Sunday, January 04, 2009'♥
there is always this hype about the new year that catches on people, as quickly and almost fatalistic , as a flu bug, a renewal of hope that re-hinges to people almost only once a year.
For reasons, i really do not comprehend otherwise, i find myself cringing in the tacky make-belief joys and peace,especially so when nothing much about this world has changed year after year. We hope to drink,make merry and perhaps spending new year's day in entirety of a stranger's bedroom,calls to orgasm which unfortunately be the wake-up call to the reality -to the unchanged chaos in our ordered world.
the thing is,for one, days are still going to pass, with us going to fulfill our responsibilities at work,in school, in the home we are fortunately/unfortunately bound to. Nothing is going to change , except that perhaps new responsibilities that be conferred onto us,or old responsibilities taking a new turn in the spectrum of endless responsibilities.
that said, till the day , i find myself at the cross road of liberation, a chance to choose an outcome of the infinite possibilities, and be stripped of responsibilities , i do not cheers and toasts to the new year.
and did i say?
happy new year to all.
9:32 PM
