Friday, January 25, 2008'♥
//insulated in the deeper hues of grey.//
listening -dont know why by norah jones.
It's almost tragic, how we can never differentiate the truths from falsities, of what's really happening.It's even more tragic how i will always be insulated from this whole existentialism and realism with just paper knowledge .Without an opportunity to experience before my very eyes, less the deliberate and fancy,construction of stories of lives,and of people, i may just be better off being the inanimate pawn of a chessgame.
Life is alittle too comfortable when one only learns about life by sinking into a couch ,reading, on a friday night.
Here i am in the company of third world countries,aid agencies and appeal aids.
(For starters, I am one who buys tissue packs from bus terminal aunties for $10,if that's is enough to convince you that i am quite nice after all,inspite of what i am about to say.)
It's bold ,but i cant help but to believe that the many preconceived notions about passivity,vulnerability of these societies are perhaps,just fancy products and sentimentalisation of aid agencies to garner international support and aids.
Do not be mistaken.
I am but anywhere near ,in doubt of their actual sufferance.(Think adverts and images, of overcrowded refugee camps,the young and old , hands outstretched for food.)Surely,this cant be the actual representation of the majority in the situation.
Perhaps, i just wish the portrayal of the messages behind these campaigns were less exploitative , picturing a more realistic view of the majority in such societies,where they will be characterised by,strength,by hopeful rigour, planning and working hard for their survival in the highly unequal world.
Of course, it's almost predictable that if images of such ,were to change, it will only conflict with our preconceived notions of their sufferances(and the geopolitical,self motivated aims of governments and agencies?).Consequentially,this will affect the impetus for many to help.But that's only because,these notions have already been deeply ingrained in our conciousness.
If the situation was otherwise, if we have known alittle better,less of the exaggerated sufferance from the start,and more of the actual happenings, i believe, these societies will still be able to deservingly receive their aids and the world be a better place,with alittle less dramatising.
Pardon me ,when it's this inexplicable heavy heart, exhaling the words tonight.
++++++++++++++++++++
the most artful thing in the world is acting naturally.
12:55 AM
Thursday, January 24, 2008'♥
//flint of life.///
this spark may be stricken;
but breathing is hope.
for all lightness of dawn,darkness of dusk;
we are- breathing for you.
be strong.
1:17 AM
Wednesday, January 16, 2008'♥
//this vehicle for the different kind of imagining.//
I am - still here, poring over my readings,after a 16 hour day in sch.
Perhaps, it's always easier to expound thesis after thesis, journals after journals, of subjects of your whims,of arts, of lingual interests,of imaginative geographies,of colored histories.
Perhaps it WILL always be easier for me to simply sit through these readings on rainy noons and nights, instead of drowning in my statistical depressions with math and admit to my lack of logic for the works of commerce and banking.
I always think, that my place lies in the faculty of arts not Sch of design and environment but truth holds, we all need the money.
On a lighter note,the modules that i am taking this sem arent too bad,considering how my lessons fits nicely in an alternate 3 day/4 day week. For now, i am enjoying sch.
mods:
1.Place,environment and society -GEK1101
2,General Biology -LSM1301
3.Urban Land Use and Development- RE1803
4.Fundamentals of Real Estate Finance- RE1804
5.Real Estate Managment -Re1805
and i lost 2kg during the holidays. 43 is THE magic no. now.
and its 2 weeks to the sixthmonniversary,still,it sure feels like honeymoon.
good night ,all.
12:23 AM
Tuesday, January 08, 2008'♥
when the thought of having to go through this drudgery for 7 more semesters,
when the thought of been able to accquire knowledge in such profusion that my brain bleeds at the notion of it,
when you forgot what it was like to have sound sleep in the nights,only fearing to oversleep to miss the bidding rounds,
when knowing it's high time that this mundane and unexciting life will need more than just adrenaline injections from playing mindless computer games,
when subway sandwiches and cookies beckons and welcomes me with such green splendour and transfat grandeur,
i am having a love-hate relationship with nus.
theboy and munkey is sound asleep after their monkeygaybusiness.
i am uninspired and all i can think of is photography.
6:23 PM
'♥
it's one week to the new semester.
The holidays have been nothing short of spending well deserved time with the woonsons and channikins.
thebf has been mighty generous this festive season .with this newfound generosity and my addiction to retail therapy spinning out of control, we have been busy with the damage control on my wardrobe and depleting bank account.
thebf's loot for me:
1. guess wedges.- $120
2. topshop metal cuffed link necklaces - $23
3. accessorize black and gold motif necklaces- $13
4. brand new spunky bag for school.
5. 2 dresses.
6. 4 leggings( electric blue,red,black,purple).
7. our monniversary watch.
and hah! my loot:
1.5 dresses.
2.4 sets of gold black bangles.
3.spunky black star belt.
4.2 bags.
4.3 belts.
5.multi colored motifs punk jacket.
6.red sweater.
7.checked shirt.
and most importantly, meet my 2 loves ,georgie the munkey and thebf.
note their uncanny resemblance. and georgie just decided on his sexuality and his inclinations towards 22 year old males.
12:39 AM
Friday, January 04, 2008'♥
there and then, 2007 whizzed past so quickly, that it almost seemed non existent.
Looking back,like almost everyone else, i have but more than my fair doses of miscalculation of choices and opportunities,of which, has rendered me nothing but less than a regressive little bitch thriving in the recesses of her angsts, disappointment, and more disappointment.
But of course, despite the smeared blots of these erratum on my pages, i am blessed enough to have met people,commonfolks,who are but anything common,but to be everything that's inspiring.
some inspired the creativity streaks,the photography stints ,some
piqued my appreciation of films and arts ,and while others emboldened my being, to grow, to learn ,and to simply, find peace with who i was,who i may and will be.
so here's a thank you to you people.
1.hubs - for every moment spent, for every dream of mine that is built upon your time,relentless efforts,kindness and love.
2.yy - it has been a long time,but those nights of us being the cynics,the bitches next door,film and musik buffs shant be forgotten.
3.deedee - conversations and photographic inspirations that one can never get enough of.
4.john - the motivational fish hobbyist.
5.liyin and groupie- school could and would have been disgusting beyond belief, without you.
6.emmanuel - that friend,i found, whom , i have yet to meet.
7.lionel - for the photography expeditions,misadventures,films and stayovers.
of renewed friendships that are and will be forged beyond the decades, they know who they are.
of kinship and family ties, i thank the lord above for blessing me with such tireless,loving spirits in a father and a mother.
for one, i am one who doesnt believe in new year resolutions but,
of 2008, let it be but nothing but a good year of academics and travels.
1. bangkok trip with mum,hubs,and family.
2. europe escapade with hubs and his channikins.
3. up the cap. for thus varsity education of mine.
with travel plans and hopes as such, i heart 2008. whoo!
3:05 AM
