Friday, October 31, 2008'♥
// a slap in the face.//
i just remembered that i was supposed to go walas with terrence,desmond and eugene last night. unfortunately, the plan did not materialise, all in the good lord's name of project deadlines.
With this semester coming to an end soon, it's easy to see how easy it is for a man to grapple and lose his reins on his integrity and morals in compromising times. so many times, i find myself in situations where it's so much easier to lose sight of what education is really about, of what being a friend , of being a person is about and just lose your scruples.
nonetheless the most valuable lesson learnt in this semester is knowing which friendships are worth keeping.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008'♥
//poppy says.//
"the thing about growing up is not making the right decisions but dealing with the decisions you made."
Sunday, October 26, 2008'♥
//why,but it's yy. //
A friend in need is a friend in deed. I cant tell how long or how our friendship began. It must be of typical cuppas of latte in the afternoon. No, it cant be , since for as long as i remembered, our conversations always spanned across late nights, nasty drummers that made our girly hearts skipped,punk vs indie musik and growing up issues.
I cant always put a word to describe how dear this friendship means to me,since commitments are already demarcating us from everything else. though i reckon it must mean quite a bit if somewhere 3 years down the road, i have already decided that she has to be my maid of honor or bridesmaid ( with gun.) in my wedding.
so first and foremost, i congratulate on her anniversary with eugene. two , here's something for you when life's difficult.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
- Rudyard Kipling
Friday, October 24, 2008'♥
// a wolf's child .//
the thing is beneath my genial behaviour towards you, i look upon you as a child.
a child that i most unfortunately ,did not and will not bother with for most of the time.
i do not gawk in amazement how at such a age, you can still act like a child. spoilt, ill bred and rude. i can only pity your lack of social skills and the inept ability to see, that you, are just a child after all.
you do not see how hard it is for us to look upon your ill behaviour as that of frankness and be accepting , all in the kind name of a non existent friendship.
Why, is there anymore i can say when your life reeks of the bitterness and loneliness of a single wretched life. it's no wonder why no girl will take a fancy towards you, and i will not mention of all your futile romance endeavours.
it's seldom that i dedicate a post in my journal to someone as undeserving you.
let that be first and my last.
Thursday, October 23, 2008'♥
// boy, i sold my soul.//
on a sidenote, i have been buying crazy amount of things
this monthevery month. of which , them together with, love, keep me insanely almost happy.
to celebrate the month of october , i bought
- 2 dresses
- 1 oldnavy's polo mini dress.supermini.
- 1 f21 thermal
- 1 pair of oxford booties
- 1 fringed hobo
- 1 lame leggings
- 1 agnes b wallet.
- 1 agnes b card holder
i will comfort myself its for a good cause since we will be looking our best this winter in Paris.yes, i need to start saving up for all that shopping and everything else.
if you havent already guess,love and i will be flying off to europe for a holiday . though we are visiting the same countries i went last year ( germany,switzerland, britain and france), seasons' different for one, company's different too, and yes itinerary's hopefully different too .
it's also due time that mymeanmachine and his shutter work for me.
it's 7 weeks to the vacation but i can already hardly contain my excitement.
and somewhat i am always pretty amused by how mum always tells love " buy her a leash and she wont get lost anymore."
mmm.life looks good. :)
Monday, October 20, 2008'♥
//it's all but a dice roll.//
we will like to think we make informed and calculated decisions when we have to, but in the face of time, where no one can tell where things would go, how rational our decision then really is?
Sunday, October 19, 2008'♥
// driving. //
the skeinbag, with her camera, was on the leather upholstery , and she, behind the wheel down the dusty road.
the evening sky was fading away behind her and she was looking for a place.
a place , he told her , he could be everything.
it has been a while .
but she had to tell him what she saw when she closed her eyes every night.
and if she finds him again, she will say -
here i am, hold my hand and lead me on.
oh my dreams, it's never quite as it seems...
Friday, October 17, 2008'♥
// a lie we all live in.//
listening : so beautiful -peter murray
it's so deceiving how my white plain walls of this space overwork the melancholic overtone of my days.
reality is such a beautiful deception that we weave to entrap ourselves in. this tapestry of false consciousness has such a way to pervade our thoughts and instinct ; to make us believe the things we want to and of those we assign to the oblivion. the definition of our own reality - of how it is, of what it is and of what it should be. Sui generis and we become the puppets estranged in a world we created.
that said, in my reality,have i been enslaved by my rationality and its lack thereof?
it's been a long time since i watched my films, my reads, my photography, and my museums.
it's a wonder how varsity education stupefies me so and the only time that induces any interllectual learning is the 2 hours of sociology tutorial.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008'♥
//of school and rittersports.//
today, i had a few boys telling me that they thought i looked good and i was a dress-er.
Love, was one of them.
i was slightly abashed by all their compliments, but somehow , none meant as much as Love's , none could have made my day the way Love did.
and it's all just a simple text message , after a brief meeting at lunch, that meant so much more.
"Baby... i dunno when you will be able to read this sms. but you looked very hot today. :)"
Friday, October 10, 2008'♥
// sanitary pads. //
i had a panic attack last night. i cant put to words why and how it was triggered. the whole world just stood still as it was,leaving me spun around his blurring room of fabricated and real obligations,deadlines, and issues. it felt as if the wall was drowning my voice for he just sat there staring into his screen, indifferent to how loud i was really screaming in the inside.
it was an inexplicable fear, fear of losing control of my own sentient being.my mouth was dry but i could distinctly hear the incessant droning of what i had to do, what i shouldnt have done, the consequences.
it almost felt like forever.
till somewhere somehow, i felt a strong grasp,a man's firm hold and hug.
"it's okaye, my parents are not going to think other wise of you.you havent misplaced their trust.they wont think you are stealing."
i left my sanitary pad wrapper on their bed that morning.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008'♥
// invitation.//
i am invited.
my best friend ,an old friend , an ex boyfriend is getting married.
how quaint -this rush of inexplicable sense of haste and age weighing down on me.
have time passed so quickly, that i overlooked the celebration of my very youth ? there are days that i looked back and i wondered why i didnt try a little harder on my relationship with my greying dad.i couldnt even remember why i even exhausted my days locked in my room of dark curtains ,forgotten angst and past romances, instead of hanging out with friends.
it was always me texting them,"no,not today."
till,our frienship,like me drifted into the oblivion.
the routinisation of such reclusiveness somehow makes me feel alittle inadequate,almost like an improperly socialised child belonging to nowhere but his own world. i had many relationships but none as lasting as i wished it was ,maybe because i didnt think it would be a worthwhile.
yet these days,my boyfriend and i have been talking about getting married when we are done with grad school and pursue our post grad together. i always thought i am prepared to do the things i ought to do and for once, be an average daughter,lover,and friend.
but now i just feel like a little girl wearing the shoes of a woman.
Thursday, October 02, 2008'♥
// second time in the week.//
it's the second time in the week that i had multiple orgasms in the wholly 2 hrs i sat there. Not quite on the bed, but on the conveyor belt at Honjin's. it's about the only thing that keeps me sane admist everything else hateful, synomynous with sch.
Every bite sank into the sashimi,smeared gently with the soyu and wasabi warranted my birth into this disgusting world choked of pollution and projects. i mean it. i cant count how many sashimi plates we ( mum,sis,boy and me) had.i reckon, it's too tedious to multi-task while immersing in each every mini explosions in your mouth,beckoning the waitress every 5 mins, exclaiming with delight on every thing that we laid our hands on.
i am not quite exaggerating. i wished i had the pictures to justify.
For someone who's has been insane enough to eat japanese food almost twice every week( or often enough ), i am telling you the quality of unagi, in the context of buffet restaurants, supercedes most. it's chargrilled to almost perfection, i like the lingering taste of a slightly burnt taste ,mixed with the tangy sweet bbq sauce. mhmm.
i like the ebi tempuras too. i am not someone who likes tempuras very much. Since, the tempuras served in our restaurants, are always soggy, too cold, or simply, the batter's too much and salty. Tempuras arrived piping hot, crispy,and to my surprise, the ebi was still so soft and moist. batter was so light, i could have just gone on forever.
what's japanese buffet, without salmon nigiris. They are the best i ever popped into my mouth. i dont like the ones at sakae ,ichi ban's. salmon 's often a thinly measly sliced piece of meat drabbed over a ugly mountain of rice. Not to mention, the occasional sour taste that accopanied with it. over at honjin's , morsel sized nigiris with salmon slabs so big, that i cant see the rice.
i cant go on about how crispy the seaweed of all the temakis were, how the zaru sobas were the best and everything else that i had today.
twice in the week multple orgasing at the conveyor belt. who's getting jealous.
it's
$54+++, for a weekday dinner. one -for one if you are a UOB card member.Not quite wallet friendly, i would say. But i would sell my chanel,guccis and everyn damn bag i have for it.
it's in tanjong pagar, at chow house first floor, opposite SIA building. HONJIN restaurant.
i reckon, i will be going sometime soon . and i am sure to bring my camera there, though i think i will be too caught up with stuffing in my face to take any pictures.
feeding me is expensive.
sorry.
