-riddity uppity go-

hubs moved.
and it's goodbye to bedok ria for 4 yrs.
no more running down the stairs.
no more peeping from stairwells.
no more big white,clean dry toliets with huge lofty towels.

but i am not missing it yet.

especially when his new room is done up this nicely. just the way we like it. mod,swank, and totally romantic. it feels as if i am perpetually looking down from a hot air balloon. spell panoramic, please.

sometimes i feel i am writing as if i am speaking. like now. totally incoherent and errant.

i am tired,but i cant sleep. havent stopped sleeping and eating since i picked my dad up from the airport which was 3 days ago.

i weighed myself the other day and i was 42.and i ate 2 kg of food. within 5 hrs.i am quite horrified. but praise the lord, 42's still the magik no.

it sounds crazy.but we just spent 178 hours together.

sometimes , i dont know how i can live with myself much, less you,
how i always forget to bring my ezlink that you have to keep it for me,
how i can never trim my nails neatly and nicely the way other girls do,
how i can never remember to switch off the lights and heaters, or where i keep my things,
how i hate drying my hair before i sleep and every time i shower,
how i am always dropping or breaking something of yours,
how i always end up powdering the room and floor,
how my hair looks 'tnt ignited' even just after a short nap,
how i snore,
how i always like to touch anything and everything we see when we are on the streets,
how i adherently deny everything and anything,

how i am YOUR walking disaster,

but despite all, you still find it within yourself to love me the way you do, and even more.
thank you, love.
happy monniversary. :)

//the phone ring.//

there are days when you come across a person, a imagery, a song , and you slip into this whole moment of a temporal pausal mode. everything then, stopped.

time stopped.
the people stopped walking.
they stopped breathing.
the hurried footsteps in the library stopped shuffling.
silence has become deafening.

it is just then you, and only you and what you knew/remembered.

you walked around,recollected the pieces,and you were lost -like before.
you saw. you heard.again.
you witnessed the murder of a anti self, and the rebirth of a new self.

the throat feels dry. still.
the palm 's wet. still.

the phone rang.
and it's that familiar voice .

you know you are back ;
safe - in today,this day of the present.

++++++++++++++++++
unfortunately( fortunately?), blogging,together with all forms of vicesthat is capable of offering me any form of sedation, is now on hold. undoubtedly,this leaves me with more time for my priorities -work commitments. I havent got much to disgruntle about,but it's with age, that you realise,what makes wearied days more purposeful, is having your loved ones to go home to. mom,dad,theng, sis,the channikins.

having said, i reckoned i just i had the best valentines'.
it isnt so much of the $400 agnes b wallet,but rather, the realisation of our efforts and resolute to acknowledge and value of what we have come to be, and who we may be.

Dive away with me;
you can take me to the sky ...

photo details : ir photography.
location : eiffel tower,paris.
equipment : nikon d50, 70-210mm vivitar.

0135hr .

it's like smelling the wisps of familiarity when you turn the dog earred pages of a book, that you o once picked up,pored,and read.

The death of his regressive self drowning in the excesses of alchohol,cigs must have began that afternoon, 8 mths ago, when he packed his suitcase and left without a word,in pursuit of his solace,of dreams,of a life here that he didn't bear living any longer.

he left us here,quiet and heavy hearted,irrelative,at the train platforms - like the dusts of his time that's to be forgotten. we grieved for the demise of a 'us'.

but tonight, i hear his hopes, of positivism,of a new lease. a 'him' that was never once heard of.

though he has moved on with a new story for his protagonist with the untimely deaths of characters,i am happy today, that i am still here, with him.

i can almost ,feel this friend, here.
what he has said tonight reinstated my lost dreams.


thank you, my friend.
to our midnight schmokes below the blocks ,and to our 11 years.

// it's us between the silence,the nights and the days ahead.//

happy chinese lunar new year.

it's 0251hr and i just got back from sheesha at haji lane with the groupie. (quek,trish,shao,andrew and bf.)

the food wasnt fantastic ,but the company and sheesha somewhat made up for ig.

i am tired, and i forsee i am going to have a long day tomorrow with the baking.

so pardon with the somewhat incoherent updates.

1.bf and i just had our 6thmonniversary last week.Not that it's too big a deal for those who have been in long term relationships less the coping of all that emotional humdrums and personal issues of ex boyfriends and the likes.

Been said, i think i value what i have at this very moment. to be able to hear his breathing synchronise with the silence of the black mass, and yet not feel a single tinge of uncertainty and fear of what's us tomorrow.

2. sch's well. At the very least, i end each day, with accomplishing what i set out to do.
Then again,sch gets better with the groupie everyday.

3.i am selling mymeanmachine(d50) to finance mymeanmachineII (d80).Of course, i cant thank thebf enough for contributing a sizeable sum to the "seize the d80
fund". till now, offers are still coming in , and i am helping elthevin bestie to get his equipment too. so that' quite a big responsibility i have on my shoulders. One's a bestfriend, another is mypassion. I take it upon myself to render the best outcome for both.

i think i am truely happy now. for once.

good night. and thank you all, who helped me made it here.

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