Thursday, December 04, 2008'♥
//sanity mispronounced.//
the thing is, for once , after such a long time that we both find ourselves abled enough to put aside our work, we were left screaming at each other outside cineleisure. amidst the harsh, accusatory words that dotted along orchard road, with curious passerby's eyes, i was really quite stuck in only those words that you said. " no choice ", "a dead road " and the last " I love you."
Though i must say , you are probably the only lover that i had that will scream " i love you." with such anger , that it left me speechless,wounded and lost in this rebuttal.
i was drowned for awhile , in scenes of ex lovers and tragic finishes, and i almost wished for a revolver to shoot myself, for finding myself, yet again, a flawed lover that i distastefully placed on my pedestal. the train ride home felt like eternity , especially when we find ourselves entrapped with strangers dying to end their day by partaking in our silence ,enjoying our occasional exchanges of even angrier words.
i caught myself asking the questions i didnt ask before.
if i was ready to give this all up ? ( i was always ready to flee and turn my back on lovers that failed to deliver the promise of a future that we could be happy in. )
if i can , once again , give you the benefit of doubt , to attribute your misplaced words as you never being able to find the right words to express your love.
if you were the one for me , after all?
i am not quite sure where i am , where i will be in this road with you.
but i find myself giving you the benefit of doubt,yet again.
love, sure has its means of innocuously of pulling a veil over your eyes so you can believe your loved ones more than you should in yourself.
perhaps, the one time that you believed in yourself then, is when you decide to entrust your heart and soul to the one you love.
But despite all, what's crazier is having us spent $390 on our bomber jackets for our european minimoon ( zara men and topshop.)
