Saturday, March 15, 2008'♥
//guilty as charged.//
i realised i havent been treating you as good as i should have been.
do know that you are more than deserving of all that i can and will give.
3:28 AM
Friday, March 14, 2008'♥
//just a little of this , just a little of that.//
the lack of updates only mean a couple of things.
i am too busy being a overworked wretch or i am too busy being happy.
of which, by now, you can reckon from the tone of this that it really isnt the latter.
i have been churning out reports,after reports, meeting deadlines after deadlines.
you almost seem convinced that i am rather hardworking,for that matter.
but in fact,
i have been busy levelling up in cabal,buying stuffs online,sleeping late,wakingup late, and practically doing nothing at all.
and having being a bummer for so long, it just pains me so much to just resume my regular varsity life.
anyway i reallyreallyreally ( x gazillion times) want to go to therockfest or mosiac. have yet to check on their lineups but i mean how if thefirefight is performing.
to be honest, school could have been alot worse if theboy wasn't around to make me laugh monsterlaughs for most of the days. :)
4:05 AM
Saturday, March 08, 2008'♥
//look who's not here.//
i find it always easier to appear offline on messenger and simply just pick up a book to read.
but somehow the screen will always be blaring, retaliating,right in the corner of my eyes, protesting aloud my denial of the dwindling strands of connectivity left to my social life.
it has been too long, and i do not like to conversate awkwardness nor silence.
but believe me, i do want to hear your story , a story of just you, not a impersonation, not a side that i havent heard of, nor seen of.
that story will breathe the remnants of what i remembered of you, and maybe then, i will tell you, a story of me too.
these books are like old friends.they never probe, but share the same woes beneath the tireless smiles and their dog eared pages.
i lose myself easier in my reads.
i listen to the silence of the night and the faint stirs of train engines elsewhere.
but i will hear noone.
11:46 PM
Friday, March 07, 2008'♥
// of nice girls and karma woes.//
it's getting unbecoming and i attribute this apathy and total repugnance, obduration,(whatever you call it that 's synonymous with being evil,gloating,bitchy-ness) to the deprivation of time and capacity to uphold my esteem ,self respect and perhaps to the cancerian's natural territorial instinct.
i scorn and i undervalue your stupidity , your childlike guileless behaviour, your unfortunate domestic misfortunes, your inapt to write,think and speak coherently.
i gloat. i gloat for everything that i have and you dont, and that with a twist of destiny, that was taken from you and given to me. i gloat for everything that i am and you are not.
i despise all the similarities and shadows of who i was, that i see in you.
i am sickened by the very thought of me wasting so much of my time reading your little misfortunes and insecurities.
i am spiteful and hateful and you are nice.
but believe me when i say,
you can lose anything and everything ,
but your mind and self respect.
and that's what i lost. self-respect.
of what's left .
of what's left . 12:37 AM
Thursday, March 06, 2008'♥
//burn those paper boats.//
just what was i thinking.
just what was i seeing.
when all i ever needed was right before my eyes.
12:04 AM
