-sunday mornings-
updated.
[time : 21 .42hr]
[mood : sick ]
[song : Where did you go - Fort Minor ]
I realised how these days my blog entries are becoming digressive allusions to what's really happening . This used to be an expository outlet for the once subtle but peaceful moods and poignant emotions. My very own eden where dreams and thoughts reign free without the imposition of reality and societal ideals.
I question my sanity these days.
I am amazed at the tangential direction of my emotions to the reality. Superficiality at its best once again. The most artful thing in the world is acting naturally, isnt it.
My nonchalence to all that happened eludes me .Even the most basal ability to acknowledge my thoughts and feelings is failing me. All that can happen , and have happened, be it good or bad, are now only capable of inducing emotions that are weak and irresolute.
I may laugh, but i miss being able to laugh heartily.
I may smile, but i miss being able to smile from the heart.
I am too tired, to be angry nor be sad .
The recognition and awareness of any of these are now. Far too exhaustive for me.
Yet increasingly, i find myself sucked into this vortex of fear and bleakness that enshrouds me through and through.
Pardon me tonight. It's isnt everyday, that i can put words to these thoughts anymore.
It must be the nasty pills , the terrible weather and a veryvery sullen sunday.
goodbye all.
